By: A couple of days ago, Matthew Dicks posted in his blog on The Huffington Post Weddings about guests making requests at weddings.
There’s no right or wrong way to choose the music for your wedding, some of our couples give us comprehensive lists, while others give us a general idea. Think of it like an artist who is given all the paints, brushes, drop cloths, stir sticks and it’s all delivered; vs. someone who is given a blank slate. While most artists prefer a certain method, a professional DJ can design a soundtrack for your special day using many different formats and materials.
Original Post: 8 Rules For Requesting Songs At A Wedding
One of the advantages of our Online Event Planner is it allows couples to choose their most important songs, a few songs, all the songs, and even take requests from guests. Some of our couples use all the features, while some enter the first dance, father-daughter, mother-son, and then say go! This is very important to have ahead of time, and that’s where this blog post comes in. While Dicks may come off the wrong way to some, his points are very valid and we’ve instances where all of these have happened.
We’re going to build on what Dicks posted, and list his eight rules, with our own input:
1. DO request your song early in the evening. Yes, please. The earlier the better. Some of the best requests come early because it allows us time to work it into the soundtrack that we already have going in our head. It could also work perfectly into a set we’ve planned, or could help provide an insight into what the guests want to hear. One such song was Billie Jean which worked great with Uptown Funk and Sexyback which were the first two songs to be played. Made for a nice segue.
2. DO request music during dinner. Dicks asks, “Want to hear your own wedding song? Ask for it to be played during dinner, and feel free to escort your spouse to the dance floor. This is a perfect time to play slow songs, and even though people are eating, you are perfectly free to dance.” We agree and it’s happened. It’s the perfect time to get that slow love song in that others may not dance to, but adds to the whole atmosphere of the wedding.
3. DON’T tell the DJ how important you are as a means of convincing him to play your request.
We agree with Dicks when he says, “Everyone at the wedding is important.” During our pre-wedding consultations, we talk to the bride and groom and ask them questions such as “Who should we take requests from?” and “Who shouldn’t we take requests from?” Our main focus during weddings is the couple, but at the same time, we want the guests to enjoy themselves as well. In one instance, a very nice young lady approached the DJ booth and started asking for songs that were on the Do Not Play list and continued to ask for such songs. She proudly proclaimed herself as one of the bridesmaids and that she deserves “to hear one of these [expletive] songs.” Eventually, a family member escorted her out of the reception area and to her room in the hotel. She had too much to drink and apologized a few days after. She was surprised to find out that we didn’t tell the bride of her behavior, hey we understand that it’s possible to over celebrate.
4. DON’T tell the DJ that the music that he is playing “sucks” when it is probably the music that the bride and groom specifically requested and the dance floor is jammed with guests. This happens at nearly every wedding, party, school dance, sports event, etc. that we do. One instance happened at a homecoming dance a few years ago in which a young lady said, “This song sucks, nobody likes this song, and nobody likes you. You need to take this song off and play something else.” Politely, I directed her attention to over 1,000 of her classmates dancing to “Cupid Shuffle” right behind her, plus it was also the number one requested song of the dance. There are nicer ways to ask the DJ to play a song, this is not it and won’t get you anywhere with a DJ.
5. DO respect the wishes of the bride and groom. In recent years, some guests have asked to see the Do Not Play List. While we tend to keep it private, it’s one of those things that the couple has asked to not have certain songs played for whatever reason. One such instance was the couple who didn’t want the first dance song of a family member played because it had originally been our couple’s choice, but the other couple took it for their wedding two weeks earlier. The other couple asked for their song, which was a sore subject with the bride. This was a touchy subject with everyone involved but eventually the other couple understood.
6. DON’T flirt with the DJ, offer to expand his view of your cleavage, or proffer sex in order to get a song played. Dicks says, “The DJ is probably married.” Yes, most of our DJs are married, and the ones who aren’t are most likely in a relationship. While this has happened, and will happen again, alcohol tends to be the leading culprit. While most women are sly about flirting with the DJ, there are some that come right out and don’t waste any time. Don’t make this kind of mistake that the next morning you’ll be regretting.
7. DON’T threaten to “kick my ass in the parking lot” when I refuse to play a fourth song by Chicago during the wedding. While a true story for Dicks, for us it’s usually been an obscure song that very few people have heard, and if we do have it, won’t fit into the vibe of the night. Cop Killer comes to mind at a wedding in which the groom was a police officer and many of his friends were police as well. Figured at this wedding if someone did try to assault us or steal our equipment, we had the right people there to take care of the situation!
8. DO ask yourself: Do I really need to request this song? This goes for all kinds of events, not just weddings. While yes, I did play Sinatra’s Fly Me To The Moon at a homecoming dance in 2013…and it worked…there are just some songs that don’t make sense. A professional DJ has a pretty good idea who those people will be by watching the crowd so this isn’t much of a problem, but it can kind of throw off the vibe in the DJs head. Think about when you’re working on a project and have been for a few hours or days, then someone comes in and erases your work or messes up your papers. Yeah, you can recover, but you need to rev yourself back up.
We’d like to add the following:
9. DON’T ask to see the list of songs the happy couple of chosen. This is a list that they have chosen and really isn’t up to the guests to pick and choose from. Those are the songs that we’re going to play and give priority to and probably have notes on the page. Also, that’s our copy and we don’t want it floating off. About five years ago, we had a maid of honor who had the worst day to be a maid of honor. As part of it, she took the playlist that had a few songs the bride had highlighted as “must play now” and lost it. She had no idea where she lost it, or how. She took it out of the bride’s hand and never gave it back to me. Thankfully, I was able to remember most, but it wasn’t easy.
